This is a very sensitive subject for me, but I am compelled to share it and I'm hopeful, in possibly gaining knowledge via chart aspects. Presently in the process of figuring out my birth time, so I can't concretely resurrect a chart anymore, for proper interpretation But highlighting common themes of the chart on this subject would really help me.
As a teenager, I was molested by my father. Of course this is a serious scar psychologically (and then some) but I've managed to persevere against the odds. There's more to this, than just him. I can recall when I was about -- maybe 5 -- when a small neighborhood kid who had behavioral issues threw me down on the ground outside and jumped on top of me, groping me. I felt so scared and disgusted, to be so very young. It felt so very wrong. That memory NEVER left me and it was the genesis in all others that followed later IMO.
I remember my father's GF; her son is about 10 yrs older than I. I had a crush on him but it was never obvious. My brothers always teased me about it, but again I never made it obvious. I must've been about 14 and I was sleeping in the living room on the floor by the christmas tree in the GF's home. I was awakened by her son (who was then in his early 20's) trying to slowly pull my shorts down. When I awakened I just quickly pulled my garments back up and kept saying no. Very bizarre of him to suddenly do that to me. He never before, gave me any indication that I was maybe "cute" to him. C'mon I was a little girl. But yes, I was developed at that time.
I won't go into a lot of details about the father. What he subjected me to lasted between 12-13yrs of age. While many young ladies suffer worse than what I did, it doesn't negate the damage of it being by my father. Smh
Eventually (again) I was about 17, and I had to live with extended relatives. They had a nephew (late 20's) who lived in the basement. He of course, gradually would always slowly come on to me. Inappropriate comments, grabbing at my arm etc.
There is SOMETHING about me, that attracted inappropriate sexual overtures and molestation. Though by nature I am a tomboy and it is my comfort, I can also say, I repress my feminine appeal intentionally more often than not. I don't want to dress the way I could dress, because I don't want to attract the WRONG guys. I despise the comments - however innocent they may be - I have a sharp defense mechanism towards any males that desire to strike up conversation. It's a hurtful reality to think back at the obvious theme here.
I don't know the birth time of the father; I wish I did because I want to understand SO bad how ppl like him do what they do and why I as his daughter, drew it out of him, to be his victim.
Help me here pls…